Today's post is going to be different to my usual daily chronicling of events and will explain the lack of a post from yesterday.
Saturday did not turn out as expected at all. And without going into too much detail we lost my dad. It was unexpected and the circumstances around his passing compounded the loss.
He was a fiercely independent person who did not like asking for help or even admitting that he needed help and ultimately that spirit did not do him any favours. As we get older we want to retain our dignity, our independence and our own self-responsibility but we have to acknowledge that it is okay to ask for help and support along the way. But now is not the time for 'should haves' and 'could haves'; he is no longer with us and we have to learn to accept that, remember him and celebrate his life.
Losing my mum seven years ago broke my dad and every day since her passing he has struggled. He had some days better than others but in the main he was lost without her. And as my brother said in a social media post earlier today that was testament to the love that they shared and the bond that they had. My dad was lost without her, he had lost the driving force in his life and he never recovered from it.
Over the years he had tried to carry on by going to the gym a few times each week, by visiting his favourite pub each day for lunch and the occasional meal out with his 'gym buddies'. Unfortunately for my dad the two years of the pandemic did not help his situation, being cut off from the world affected his mobility and the activities that were keeping him going.
He has simply existed since my mum passed but at least they can now be together. We have gained another star to look down upon us.
But we have lots of amazing memories to remember him, and my mum, with. Numerous holidays together, visiting Vegas, his love of Elvis, birthdays, Christmas's, teaching Simon DIY tricks (or bodges!), helping me with the kids when Simon worked away, Dad's (and Grandad's) taxi service, his speech at our wedding and 'Magnum P.I' dance moves, welcoming Simon into our family even if he did chase him with a pair of scissors threatening to cut his long hair and always calling me Poll or Polly (I know not why).
He was a warm, kind and generous soul, and will be missed by all who knew him.
 |
| Portrait painted by Simon in 2005 |
Miss you dad, but I know you and mum can be together once more.
xx
No comments:
Post a Comment