Welcome to 2025...

A new year begins and as we reflect on the previous 12 months we look forward to what the coming months may hold.

It is also that time of year when resolutions and pledges are aplenty and the mantra of 'new year new me' can be heard ringing along with the bells chiming midnight!

But how many of those resolutions and pledges actually come to fruition over the year ahead? Why do we always use the ringing in of a new year as the time to make that change...well we say we're going to make that change!!

And while the start of a new year, or maybe the start of a new week, or perhaps the beginning of a month or even a point in the future that links to current plans (you know the 'when I get back from...') all sound amazing and may even feel great they very rarely even happen. The problem is that by telling ourselves that we will do something at a certain point gives us a feeling of positivity, a feeling that we are in charge, a feeling that we are moving forward and will achieve our goals because we now have a 'plan' and unfortunately that is where it all falls apart. That feeling of achievement because we have said we will do something on a certain date is enough for us to feel good about ourselves and it tricks our brain into thinking we've 'done something' when actually all we've done is thought about doing something. This in turn means that when that date rolls around we often find an excuse for the 'plan' to not happen or get delayed or only last for a few days until something comes along to derail us. We feel good about ourselves for thinking and planning about making a change but that feeling wains and our desire to make the change wains with it. Something else more important comes along and gives us the excuse to 'start next week' and the whole process repeats itself.

We've all been there, I know I have. I've lost count of the times I thought about starting a diet to lose a few pounds for that holiday, or before Christmas or for a special event only to find that before I knew it my starting point had moved so many times that 'the event' was suddenly upon me and I'd missed my opportunity. Which of course at that point made me feel like a failure and I would just give up, throw my rattle out of my pram and convince myself that I was always going to be this way and there was nothing I could do about it. Rinse and repeat this process over and over, for years and years.

You know that old mantra of 'don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today' actually rings true. If you want to make a change, if you want to try something new, if you want to lose a few pounds or get fitter then why wait for a 'date in the future'? Why not just start today? What's stopping you?

If you want to make a change in whatever aspect of your life then the best time to start is now, today, this minute. Waiting until Monday, or the new year, is only delaying you becoming the person you want to be. That better version you want to be will only happen if you make the changes you need when you decide to be that better version.

So the question you have to ask yourself is that if you are waiting for that specific date in the future to make those changes do you really want to make that change? If you can't start now, right this minute,  then why? Surely if the change you need to make is important enough, or wanted enough, then starting now is the only option.

Remember the only person you have to please is you, and the only person who can make the changes you want is you and the only person stopping you from starting is you! So don't wait till tomorrow start now. You don't have to start big, you don't have to start perfectly, you just have to start and each day you just keep on going until before you know it the thing that you wanted to achieve is happening. It may not happen as quick as you would like but it will be happening and if you miss a day or mess up then just start again the next day. No-one is perfect, we all have bad days and the trick is not letting those less than perfect days derail you. Simply dust yourself off, get back up and get straight back on with what you should be doing. Don't berate yourself, just chalk it up to experience and start again. 

So instead of reading this, you know what you need to do...start NOW!

I'm not a morning person...or am I?

So for as long as I can remember I've always described myself as being 'not a morning person'. You know that person who struggles to get out of bed and who simply doesn't function all that well at the beginning of the day and who needs a few hours to 'get going'. But lately I've been questioning that belief.

And it is a belief...and one that I don't think was ever truly mine.

I had always been told, since a very young age, 'you're not a morning person' or heard things like 'don't talk to Jayne first thing she's grumpy in the morning'. But I've now come to realise, after decades of believing this particular thing about myself, that it may not be true, and that just because I believe something about myself then it must be set in stone and cannot be changed...or can it?

It is proof that decades of something being said to you on repeat by your nearest and dearest can have a staggering impact on your own self belief and esteem. The repetition of the mantra that 'Jayne doesn't do mornings', that 'Jayne wakes up grumpy' had convinced me that that was just the way I was. Because if everyone was telling me that then it must be true and I simply had to accept that me and mornings just didn't mix.

But you know what? Me and mornings actually get on pretty well...in fact I'd go so far as to say that getting up early and embracing the day is one of my favourite things! So what has changed? Why has that belief changed?

So I think we all have things that we believe about ourselves that tend to err on the negative...after all it's easier to believe in the negative than see the positive about ourselves. We live in a world where we are bombarded by idealised images that we think we ought to be like, we have expectations thrust upon us by family, teachers, friends and employers. And so all the time we are trying to live up to everyone else's expectations except our own and as a result we focus on the negative, we quiet the positive and we let other peoples thoughts and opinions dictate who we should be.

I'm sure we've all had the boss who's constantly criticised something or the teacher who told us we wouldn't make it in life or the friend who always seemed to belittle you or the parent who failed to say 'well done'. And when we hear the negative often enough, and especially if we encounter it at a young age, we begin to believe that we must be that person, that we must display those traits and that is just who we are. But these are not who we are, we can be whoever we want to be; we just have to take the time, and effort, to change those beliefs about us.

We can be the person we would like to be, the person we deserve to be, we can be the person that we have always been rather than the person that we have become to believe we are.

A belief is just something we tell ourselves so why not tell ourselves a different story? 

And that is just what I've been doing of late. By taking the time to evaluate what I want my life to be, and who I want to be, I am beginning to discover that there is more to me than what I believed and being a morning person is just the beginning. 

I now embrace the morning, I enjoy starting the day early so that I can make the most of every minute, I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment at getting things done and I look forward to what the day has to offer. So I suppose you could say that I AM a morning person!

And early mornings mean I get to experience sunrises like this!

This realisation didn't happen overnight and in fact it kind of crept up on me. Through being willing to delve into what makes me me, to question who I am and coupled with a desire to want to learn and know more changes are beginning to happen. And I am here for whatever those changes may be. 

I've even discovered that the girl who didn't like exercising actually enjoys getting down the gym a few times a week and throwing some weights about!

Early mornings mean we hit the home gym in our garage
(this was at the very end of my workout so excuse the face I'm pulling!)

At almost 57 years of age I want to be the best version of myself both mentally and physically so that I can enjoy and experience whatever the future may hold. I want to grab life with two hands, give it a massive hug and see where we will go!

Day 599

Day 599...

So today was all about travelling home after our weekend away.

Once we had enjoyed breakfast we checked out of the hotel and headed off in search of coffee and petrol. We found a local retail park with a couple of coffee shops but had to wait for 10.30am to roll around as with it being a Sunday the shops were not yet open and the coffee shop was located inside one of the shops!

After coffee we had a little wander around some of the shops before heading off towards Molly and Dan's with a quick stop to refuel before the long journey home. We spent a little time catching up with Molly and Dan; they have managed over the last couple of days to get all Molly's bits and pieces in place and everything looks great.

It was then time for us to head off on our 190 mile journey up north, a pretty straightforward journey that took about three and a half hours with a stop for coffee and a loo break included. Thankfully the traffic was kind and the sat nav took us a slightly different route than normal but we seemed to avoid any major hold ups.

Once home we were able to catch-up with Ethan and let him know all about the weekend and chat about plans for all three of us to visit Molly and Dan sometime over the Christmas holidays.

I think I am going to have a period of adjustment to go through as although Molly has spent time down at Dan's before (she was there for the lockdown at the beginning of the year) this is now a permanent thing. And as a woman of a certain age I can feel the hormones and the emotions kicking in from time to time and I know there are going to be moments, especially over the next few days, where I am going to catch myself. Even this evening glancing at the calendar on the wall and seeing the column marked 'Molly' filled me up a little...or just setting the dining table with three places and not four...or glancing towards her bedroom and not seeing a light on or hear her chatting on the phone to Dan...emotions are going to be rather close to the surface I think!

Driving home this afternoon we were listening to some White Lies and there is a song called 'Change' which they played on Friday night and Simon had remarked how appropriate it was for the weekend. Hearing it again today got to me big time; I am going to miss Molly incredibly but I know that she is happy and that is all that matters. We will be here for her whenever she needs us and while part of me may wish she was just a little closer we will support her completely, no matter what, and love her more than words can say.

OK I'm off to have a cry now...see you tomorrow.
xx