Tuesday, 2 August 2022

Day 865 & Day 866

Day 865...Monday

Our day started off as normal with our early morning walk and because neither of us are working on a Monday we took a slightly longer 2.4 miles in 46 minutes. It was a lovely start to the day and along our way we even managed to stop and pick some blackberries, as the fields where we walk seem inundated with bushes.

After our walk we were straight back out the door to go and collect the grocery shop. I am trying to keep this bigger shop to once every two weeks or more and use it to stock up on the bulkier items so that in between I can take advantage of my local Lidl for better prices and better quality fresh food.

With all the shopping organised and put away we opted for an early lunch/late breakfast before heading off into Nottingham for the afternoon. This past weekend had not been one of my better ones; my mood was off and I just generally didn't know what to do with myself and so we decided that today we needed to get out of the house for a few hours.

And it was the best thing that we could have done as not only did we get to have a lovely walk in the sunshine around Nottingham but we also got time to spend together. We stopped for coffee at our usual branch of Caffe Nero and the barista there always remembers us and always takes the time to chat which is lovely and as a bonus he always gives us extra 'stamps' on our loyalty app!

I think that the adjustment for me to being 'retired' is probably having a bigger effect on me than I perhaps envisioned...maybe bigger is not the right word, perhaps it should be different. Tuesday to Friday while Simon is working I find that I am occupied predominantly with jobs around the house along with some bigger tasks relating to sorting my dads house and going through both our photos and my dads to get them digitised. I also have the time to do tasks that previously would have had to have been done on an evening or at a weekend. So when we reach our three day weekend I can find myself in a bit of a quandary as to what to do with the time. I'm very aware that the weekend is 'down time' for Simon and that he has things that he wants to do because he doesn't have the time during the remainder of the week so we kind of reach an impasse. 

I want to give Simon the time to do what he wants to do but at the same time I'm unsure as to what I can be doing as I've now done all the 'stuff' during the week and for some reason even though I could carry on with certain tasks I've convinced myself those are 'week day tasks' and not for the weekend! Argh! I've been so used to the make-up of a week being split between work and down time and those lines are now blurred and getting used to that is, it would appear, having a greater impact on me than I sometimes realise.

And then throw into the mix that I am terrible at doing anything 'just for me' and always want to make sure everyone else is doing what they want that I end up either not doing anything or feeling resentful that others have things to do and I don't. Which I know is my own doing and so we go round and round in circles. So not only do I have to realise that doing things for me and me alone is perfectly okay but that everyone else will be perfectly fine!

So as you can probably gather Simon and I had some big conversations this afternoon in an effort to get me out of my own head and recognising that I can do what I want, when I want and how I want and that I am not answerable to anyone for that but me. I think there is also a pressure I perceive that everyone on hearing that I am retired expects me to have 'a plan', that I am off doing something amazing or that I must be wanting a new job or new direction. When actually at the moment all I want is to be home, spend time with Simon and enjoy not having the pressures of work...and yet I somehow feel guilty for wanting those things!

Anyway after a few hours drinking coffee and poking around shops, with nothing bought,we headed home. 

Today I finally received a letter from the solicitors advising that probate has been granted following my dads death and that we can start to move forward on settling the estate. We still have the house to sell but there are other items that can now be distributed. Although it does make me laugh that the solicitors still insist on using typed letters and the postal system when surely email would speed up the whole process. I make a point of always responding to a letter by email! And don't get me started on their apparent reluctance to use bank transfers as a means of moving money around as they prefer to use cheques!! Really?!!

And although it was a little late in the day we decided to have a gym session...we said we would just have a short thirty minutes or so...an hour later we were done! While Simon took the opportunity of being in the garage to take his most recent 3D prints and fill where needed (stinky process involving car body filler!) I grabbed a shower and managed my second two minute cold shower of the day. I then re-set my timer so that tomorrow I'll be on two minutes and thirty seconds.

Day 866

Well the morning was grey but warm and we headed out for our early morning walk of 1.9 miles in 37 minutes, although we did get a little wet about half way round. Despite the weather app on my phone saying there was only a 12% chance of rain we got rained on, and at one point it started to come down quite heavy but we had no umbrella with us and no rain coats. Thankfully it only lasted a few minutes before it eased and stopped completely and by the time we got home our clothes were dry.

My day today has been one of getting a few jobs done around the house; laundry, cleaning, emails etc. We are trading in our old Kindle for a newer version and have taken advantage of Amazon's trade in offerings and so today I was able to package up the old one and drop it off at a UPS collection point. Not only will we get a little cash for the old one but we will also get 20% off a new one - win, win! 

I've also done a little internet surfing ahead of podcast recording tomorrow as I think Michelle and I will be looking forward to some Halloween themed foodie treats coming to Walt Disney World. And as they start their Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Parties in mid-August those items will be available rather soon and if you ask me a little too early for celebrating Halloween!

Towards the end of the afternoon I found a little time to make a start on sorting pieces for my latest jigsaw before I headed down the gym for another workout. A gentler workout this evening with the focus on body weight exercises and as it was quite a warm and muggy evening it was about all I could manage. It did mean that a shower was necessary once I'd finished and this did mean my second cold shower of the day and my second two minutes and thirty seconds!

And with that I will see you all tomorrow.

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