Saturday, 13 June 2020

Day 87

Day 87...

Hello to the weekend...just in case we'd forgot where in the week we were!

A very slow start to the day, simply had no energy to get up and get moving. But once up and about Simon decided to sort through some old bits and pieces and get them up on Ebay while I got caught up with the ironing - exciting stuff!

The afternoon saw us take a walk to see my dad and because of the new 'support bubbles' we were able to actually go inside his house and sit on his sofa and enjoy his company in comfort!

After we had returned I decided to tackle the last pieces of my current jigsaw, resulting in a completed Snow White's cottage...
...and I now have the next one all lined up and ready to go...
Today was a good post day though...I received two items. One was for pre-school which contained a cheque for £200 from Asda as we had been lucky enough to take part in their green token scheme at our local store. This is a scheme where three local causes are chosen and shoppers get to choose which one to support by way of dropping a green token they are given at the checkout into a slot of their choice. The great thing is that all three causes benefit. This money will be put to really good use by our pre-school.

The second letter was from Derby hospital, and was one I had been waiting for, this was the result from my 'surveillance' mammogram that I had about 10 days ago and thankfully the results were 'normal' - phew! I will still have mammograms for the next four years before I can receive the all clear but getting through this first one is a great feeling.

I have felt a bit out of sorts at times today. I seem to be struggling for motivation to do things, lacking the desire to get on with something. I think because things are still so uncertain and it's no longer a case of just doing things on the spur of the moment or just popping somewhere to get something my enthusiasm has taken a knock. I find myself in a 'why bother' state of mind and I know I need to shake this but I also know that that is easier said than done. I know I have days when I can be more motivated and days like today when I'm not and I know that this is okay but it can feel draining.

We find ourselves apparently moving out of lockdown but we still have so many things that we cannot do and so many things that feel contrary to what we want to do. Because of the worries around the economy the focus is on getting that back up and running but this feels at the expense of personal things, like meeting up with friends and loved ones. It's hard to understand that professional football is starting up again but Molly can't yet meet up with her fella - feels all out of whack to me! And the greater the emphasis on these type of things the harder it is to deal with not seeing those that we love, care about and are missing.

I would love to be able to meet up with friends for a coffee and a catch up, I would love for Molly and her fella to get to spend some quality time together and I am happy to do all of this when it is safe to do so. But when these means watching society at large start moving, more cars on the road, more sporting events happening, more shops opening and even me going back to work it all feels very at odds with the things in life that are important.

We all want to be out of this and back to normal as soon as we can and all we can do is just hope that this is the right approach and we don't regret the time we have not been able to spend with loved ones.

Take care,
xx

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