So I feel compelled to write a piece about the trials and tribulations of being a woman in her fifties...and one who is getting closer to the end of that particular decade.
And the reason why I thought I would throw my thoughts and experiences into the metaphorical hat is because if I'm being honest I'm a little bit fed up with the 'whoa is me' approach that seems to be prevalent across these here interwebs.
In particular those who feel the need to express what they are going through, how hard it is but at the same time how 'amazing' they are for putting it out there and sharing their 'wisdom'! Along with a need to let everyone know that they are getting close to the magical 50 number and what a milestone that is!
FFS! Yes being a woman brings about a whole load of challenges and yes getting older means we have a load of new shit to deal with and yes it's not all rainbows and unicorns but you know what...that is all part of being the amazing people that we are.
My own personal opinion is the more we scream and shout about it the more fuel we add to the stereotypical view of how a woman is supposed to be as she moves her way through life.
Now I'm not saying that this transition is plain sailing and nor am I saying that some have it better or worse than others, but we all go through it, we all deal with it in our own way but do we really need to shout about it from the highest rooftop?
I appreciate that sharing ones experiences can be beneficial to others out there; we no longer feel like 'the only one' and that can be comforting. I just think there are ways that this can be done without making it an 'all about me', 'look how I'm coping', 'how amazing am I?' type of thing.
So, having said that, I am now going to make it all about me and tell you how getting older and all that that brings has affected me, and what I have done (if anything) to keep on going!
Being ‘blessed’ to start my periods at the age of 10 or 11 it didn't surprise me that menopause symptoms started appearing from my early to mid-forties onwards. The usual mood swings, a few hot flushes and disrupted nights sleep; all the classics! I was able to cope and carried on pretty much as normal (whatever that means!). Although I do remember apologising in advance to my team at work for any future mood swings as I began to recognise them kicking in! My periods gradually faded away after about a year or so of irregularity before they were eventually no more - woohoo! And while I had all the classic symptoms I'd kept away from any HRT or fancy 'supplements' simply because I hadn't felt them necessary. I was coping. And being a bit stubborn I was in no rush to take anything that I didn't have to.
At the age of 50 I was diagnosed with breast cancer which was discovered on my very first mammogram! (Last Day...) Within weeks of being diagnosed I was having a lumpectomy followed by a course of radiotherapy which were all successful and I have thankfully, been clear ever since. Around this time my menopause symptoms were in full affect, but that then put me in a peculiar situation. The information at the time around HRT came with warnings about links to breast cancer so you can imagine that as time wore on and symptoms became more prevalent my options felt limited. I didn’t want to be taking anything that could cause me more issues around breast cancer. And even when evidence started to come out that some HRT approaches were safe for those who had experienced breast cancer it still just didn't sit right with me.
So what did I do? Well, basically, I put on my metaphorical ‘big girl pants’ and simply got on with it. As I saw it I could either let those symptoms control my life or simply rise above and carry on. My ethos has always been to simply try to stack the odds in my favour by keeping active, eating clean whole foods, avoiding alcohol and taking the time to meditate; has this approach helped me? Who knows, but I do feel in the best shape I have ever felt even with the odd hot flush and disturbed nights sleep.
Nor was I going to let turning a curtain age define me either; after all (and to quote a cliché) age is but a number. So I’ve reached 58; I am living my life to the best of my abilities and saying yes to new opportunities, yes to travel, yes to new adventures and more importantly yes to life. None of us know how long we have on this mortal plane so we best make the most of what we have!
Life is for living so get out there and live it to its fullest and don’t let anyone grind you down!
As Christopher Robin once said ‘You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think’.
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